Doomed day

"Get up you lousy drunkard"that voice disturbed my sleep,a very peaceful nap.when i opened my eyes i saw the most hated figure in the hostel in front of me,warden. there was no other second for restoring my mind,i was pulled up and dragged outside my room.still in sub consciousness i was clueless of what was happening.i saw my friends around with worried faces.sleep,left over dreams,hang over.....all this took me another minute to fix the situation..."yes i was caught for boozing in hostel".that was the charge.i was taken to wardens room,he was shouting at me ,but for me it was a backgroung sound becuase by now the scene was clear for me,my name was reported by my classmate.wardens was geeting testimony from him,i watched that helpless.'yes sir he boozed overnight and abused me" said that guy without daring to look at my eyes.time is 1 45 am.Six of us drunk last night around 11 as a part of the farewell of ur dearest guest faculty,he was leaving the campus for new job.sir brought us two half bottles of vodka to the hostel,just becuase we forced him.six of us finished the bottle and surprisingly we gave one peg to the most decent guy in our class,gentle man and all according to others!!,becuas he promised long before that he will drink with us for once.so we gave a peg and he finished it in a second.night got more fuzzier .we danced with music on,and went to give the birthday bums to one of our engineering friends.everything was kick ass fun....after all that i did the mistake of my lifetime,can't call it a mistake,it was the outrage of the clotted frustration......i went and called up rakesh who was sleeping"what the fuck you wanna do to me eh??u wanna do something do it now asshole"....after shouting at him i went to sleep with serene content.i was having having dislike towards him  from second year,before that we were best buddies in the department,although we believed in diffrent ideologies.many a times i made heard his words and jumped into troubles,but i never hated him,but he was over influenced by one of our faculty members and slowly got seperated from us.but i never talked to him after that and never did any harm to him by anymeans but always had frustration towards him as he was becoming a slave of that faculty member , that night with venom in i lost my control and yelled at him.
Now i am here ,warden's room confessing with much pressure and torturing.all five of us were taken to main gate to confirm our mistake with alcohol detector.65,60,55,50,50...read the detector.....all nails screwed.then we were taken back.by that time rakesh also said that it is our sir who brought the bottles.we were again brought back to warden's room....we guys were getting all tired and weak as the time went on.then started the raid.wardens checked  outside our rooms and to worker's area,they got one full sack of liquor bottles which they said was ours.we pleaded like any thing "sir believe us its not ours,for mother sake believe us".every one reached their breaking point.we were framed ,closing all doors.i saw smiles and dry jokes from wardens.they got their meal.we were tired to that extent were we where not able to plead.At around 6 30 we were abandoned by wardens.after confessing,begging,torturing,cruel jokes we hit our beds.

at 10 30 we woke up,while i was in toilet warden came to and asked all of us to get ready,soon,with no space given to bath we were packed,i was not even allowed to brush.i swallowed some tooth paste to convince habits. we were taken to deans office .we were awarded a sem out....."go have some chilled beer in your house and enjoy the holidays" was the response of dean when we begged.i stopped beeging.i knew it was final.memo was drafted.we were instructed to vacate the hostel rooms .....with no time to spare we were kicked out of the campus.
with bags full of luggage's.all five and our sir at in the dhaba ....after long time silence we started to lift ourselves up...to change the mood...we started cracking jokes......we smiled after hours...as time passed,each one of them left to their homes,for the first time in two years every one left home with shame and agony.our sir and vishnu left to Bangalore....me and siva stayed in the daba.....thanks to the poor workers of dhaba who spared there food and gave us space t sleep that night.
with minds getting black out and life asking "how to move on?" we slept in the dhaba floor without dreams or aspiration to hope.

edited facts and jokes:
1 .)sixth guy who boozed with us and the seventh,the gentleman who took one short was not dragged into the issue.we never wanted also
2.)when we were infront of deans office waiting for the call.hari(co culprit) said:"dude we are gonna get famous and we'll get girls and fans....thats the history of suspension in this college"
3.)just after we were kicked out of campus,sir asked us:"shall we go and have a chilled beer guys?"
4.)before all this happened we guys made a farewell presentation for our sir to screen in class,fate,we five and sir sat in dhaba and saw the presentation in our laps.
5.)we consoled each other saying "suspension alle,petrol pump onnumalallo?"

The last day

This is the last time I am going to that place, hereafter am  a trespasser. My heart gained weight when I enter our corridor the place where our presence felt the most, our laughter’s, comments, where we walked pulling our low waist jeans up every time it drags down, even the hard slap that I gave….those lost moments are priceless, they wont stand still, it get distorted as time moves on. the last hugs from friends ,actually it was more than friendship……..it was five guys from very different worlds but had a very common thing  ‘come what may, we are like this  ‘……….but now  we are no fire brand…those eyes look dispirited ……..i forget how to cry…..its getting late…..time to leave……..without looking back….passing by the past. I couldn’t look at anything back……
After few weeks I saw everyone’s pictures in a social network, everyone smiling enjoying every bit of some occasion ……seems like I never was there with them….nothing has happened………I am the one who lost them…..they had everything…. ‘Move on ‘ they say……..for me its ‘now what?’

:D

Suspended between life and death for almost eight hours….life had more gravity on me…..death ignored my weakness to live….here I am again …..to start everything from a scratch

Rush of blood

I could see my blood oozing out in rush to turn the clear water red, red as vine. I could no more see my hand inside the pool of water. It was so thick red. These are the last moments of my life, life of a unsuccessful angry human. The journey is coming to an end; I am going to understand the greatest truth about life, death. It’s most confusing. Is it the life we lived or rather survived is real or death, the unknown, the enigma is real.
I always wished to walk into death with a smile, like the greatest revolutionaries did,but here I am not killed…or hunted….system made me to do this.am loosing mind,ts getting blur everthing around me looks so disturbing ….even the sound of water drops echoed with million decibels .
I cant write more, every system is going down..weakening …Am leaving to the undiscovered life…..love you all…
hastalavictoria siempre

I QUIT

I QUIT WRITING.......ONLY WEAPON I HAD ALSO HAS BEEN FREEZED .THANK YOU ALL WHO FOLLOWED MY BLOG.

a run into instinct....

i ran faster that day...fastest in my whole life.mind was black and eyes  all white."cross the bridge with all the enrgy you have " was the only thing in my consciousness.
we three including shiv n vish were comin back all tired after a  trekking in the  cliff  near our campus.on the way back theres a railway bridge,one line bridge ..once you are in the bridge you cant walk side ways....walk straight or jump down to death.when we three came close to the bridge a train was coming from the opposite direction and we just went aside the bridge waiting for the train to pass by.as the train was approaching ....shiv just asked casualy 'if anyone can cross the bridge now i'll give you 500bugs"..
'you sure?' i am all excited. 'yes he replied'
without another moment to waste i ran hard to cross the bridge....the glimpse of the train which i felt had the only intention to hit me and fail me in the bet ...it was roaring towards me to win its might.the sound made by my footsteps on the old metal plates of bridge was louder than the noise of train's engine.

i ran faster that day...fastest in my whole life.mind was black and eyes  all white.'cross the bridge with all the enrgy you have " was the only thing in my consciousness.leaving behind soul i reached past the death bridge seeing  my opponent just finishing behind  me...loosing.
it was not the five hundred bugs that made me run but was the instinct that pushed me to run.i enjoy my instincts,that rush of blood,that spark of a second...i love my instinct.
i dedicate this post to shiv.love you 4...me the fifth.....n us the gang

drops dat purify......

i don't want to be the little Johny who asked rain to go away.....why cant he play in rain?
just look out from your window when it rains..when drops drips slowly from the grills you could watch a brand new canvas of nature reveal in front of you...when each element of nature become beautiful frame for your eyes.when the first drops from the unknown paradise above kisses the earth i can smell life...the smell that symbolize the love made by two worlds...
i could feel nature exulted when heavens pour down on her.....purifying her past odds....i saw them dance in trans with the wild wind with more and more thirst for her love,her addiction,her rain. the music it creates with each object in earth as an instrument to create the song of universe.
i can no longer stay back behind the window grills...i want to get absorbed in that wild but serene phase of nature,for that playing football in rain is a good option.football and rain is a intertwined combo which couldnt be seperated.the game which is a fervor for mankind and rain which is the same for nature.playing on bare foot feeling the pulse of earth ,who cares for the stained clothes......rain swept my sweat like a mother does for her child.
every good thing have to come to a halt......very slowly rain withdrew back to the world above.

but the very next morning was nature wearing her most beautiful outfit.....like a woman after shower....soaked but tranquil.the golden rays from sun warming her ...but still those drops left back by heavens in greenery tricles down with the crave for making more love.