is there a reason to live in the paradise lost??

from here i look above..to that world you say about
i wanted to go high up and kiss the twinking cosmos
the glimpse that i got of peach of beauty....
which cannot be contained in your cells of imagination....or dreams beyond reality checks
here bawl is not the signal of life from the womb of creation
wisdom by birth leaves the lives without any opportunity to get stained
in this magnum opus of perfection conflict for power is an ellusion,
forms of betrayel,revenge,cause an effect wont be a reason to bleed
the hierarchy starting from the enslaved almighty to its vandalizing patrons to free blemishes of anarchists cant be seen anywhere....
my call of instincts wont haunt here when there is no trace of hunger or desire of flesh...
militon's seven sins is the armeggedon which never happens in his paradise.....
i am dropping down....with no grip to hold....
is there a reason to live in thy world???
where spirits are ultimate by birth.....
where there is no thoughts to disturb...no ideologies to fray...
where dogmas wont intrude the existence.....
is there a reason when the the strugle i am captivated with has no meaning ??
is there a reason where there is no feces to get rid of or any bread to stuff in??

ഈയാംപാറ്റ

അവള്‍ പറഞ്ഞത് വീണ്ടും എന്റെ മനസ്സില്‍ കൂടി കടന്നു പോയി .
"എവടെ വേണമെങ്കിലും ഞാന്‍ ഇറങ്ങി വരം"
എന്റെ ഏകാന്ത ജീവിതത്തിലെ ആദ്യ വിജയമാന്നു അവള്‍ .കുറച് അപ്പുറത്തുള്ള റെയില്‍വേ ട്രാക്കിലൂടെ അതി വേഗത്തില്‍ ട്രെയിന്‍ കടന്നു പോയത് അന്ന് ആദ്യമായി ഞാന്‍ ശ്രദ്ധിച്ചു ,അതിന്റെ ശബ്ദം എന്നെ അസ്വസ്ഥമാക്കി .ഇന്നു ആദ്യമായാണ് എന്റെ ഈ മുറി എത്ര ചെരുതാനെന്ന്നു എനിക്ക് ബോധ്യമാകുന്നത്‌ .നഗരത്തിന്റെ കോലാഹലങ്ങളുടെ അടുക്കളപുരത് എന്റെ മുറി .മാസ വാടക മുന്നൂറി അന്ബത് രൂപ ,മുറിയിലുള്ള ഏക വെളിച്ചം അന്പത് വാട്റ്റ്‌ ബള്‍ബ്‌.മുറിയുടെ മൂലയില്‍ ഉള്ള തടി കട്ടിലില്‍ കീറിപറഞ്ഞ മെത്ത.മൂട്ടയും പാറ്റയും സുഖമായി എന്റെ കൂടെ ഇവടെ വിരഹിക്കുന്നു .അപ്പുര്രമുള്ള ഓടയില്‍ നിന്നുള്ള ഗന്ധം വര്‍ഷങ്ങള്‍ക്കു ശേഷം വീണ്ടും ഇന്നു എന്നെ ഒക്കാനപെടുത്തി.
ജീവിതത്തില്‍ ആദ്യമായാണ് ഞാന്‍ എന്റെ പരിമിധികള്‍ മനസിലാക്കുന്നത് .സത്യത്തില്‍ എനിക്ക് പരിമിധികളെ ഒള്ളു ....ഒരു ഉണക്ക വക്കീല്‍ തെണ്ടിയുടെ പരിമിധികള്‍ ..മനസില്ലാക്കാന്‍ വളരെ വൈകി .
ഒരു പാറ്റ പറന്നു വന്നു ചുമലില്‍ ഇരുന്നു ...അവള്‍ക്കു പാറ്റയെ പേടിയായിരുന്നു .നെഞ്ചില്‍ വല്ലാത്ത ഭാരം ..കണ്ണുകളില്‍ നനവ്‌ പടരുന്നു ...ബള്‍ബിന്റെ വെളിച്ചത്തില്‍ ഈയാംപാറ്റകല്‍ പാറി പറക്കുന്നു ...ചിലത് ചിറകു കൊഴിഞ്ഞു താഴെ വീഴുന്നു. അവള്‍ എനിക്കൊരു ഭാരമാണ് .ഞാന്‍ പോലും എനിക്കൊരു ഭാരമാവുകയാണ് . ട്രക്കിലൂടെയുള്ള അടുത്ത ട്രെയിന്‍ പതിനൊന്നു മണിക്കാണ് .
അടുത്ത ദിവസത്തിലെ പത്രത്തിലെ ചെറിയ കോളം വായിച്ചു :അഞ്ജാത ജഡം കണ്ടുകിട്ടി

a broken dream (thought evolved after seeing inception)

we all dream while sleeping.dreams are unreal for us,sometimes it disturbs you,sometimes it comforts you.some dreams are incomplete,before the next picture we will wake and we stray behind that uncompleted phantom.we long for that dream to get completed ...but that never happens....the climax of that deception is lost in unreal world...we cant regain it.
now imagine we are dreaming,our life is a dream....everything around is a mere projection.relations,structures,emotions,disaster,achievement....evrything....that was all dream....we were all sleeping and is still sleeping.....we are not living....we are dreaming....we are living in dream......and we are trying to complete our dream..in our own way...but thats not possible........dreams are unreal...our world is unreal....
and it is death that wake us up...to reality...suddenlt when your heart beats drop to death...you get up as you where in a dream..just like we wake up from our dreams while we sleep at night....death wakes us up from the dream called life....then you understand....the life you thought you have conquered or lost was just a passing fantacy....death calls us to life...calls us to shed our dream....evry dream has to come to an end ...so as the dream like this unreal life....death is where the real life starts......

amrita-peace is here

amrita......its not a college its a heaven.love is every where in this place situated in a peaceful outskirt which was once an elephant corridor....becuase of massive defoerestration for increasin facilities for students,villagers thank amrita that no animals disturb them nowadays.
amma is the soul and spirit of this college where they dont just educate but educate values.values which the new uncultured genration shuold hold on. freedom is valuable here,in amrita you are not just humans...but boy and girl...two different species..and make them understand 'our culture'....should not be forgotten.amma's favourate lord krishna may be a flirt and may had ten thousand wives...but amma forgive him....and making the new generation walk on the right path.god has the right to giva and take life,so no respect should be given to any death cases inside campus.
the MBA girl who jumpd to death due to unknown reasons have no right for any last respect.blood in the floor was swept to drainage by the cleaner.thats how it should be.how can she take the power of god??that too inside amrira ,temple of amma??
indian culture is held high in amrita....jeans and t shirt are taboo....but full sleeve shirt and formal pants are to b used....no its not being slave of colonialism...ts 'our culture'.
perfection is amrita.....so why should one question anything in amrita?pramod...the aposthal of indian culture not even allowed the song 'maule mere maule'....how can a watch dog of 'our culture' allow such a terrorism song in the peaceful atmosphere of amrita??
the criminals are to be dismissed....the criminals who write,raise voice or even question the spiritual i stress spiritual but non religous scheme of amrita should be expeled.indeed they should be hang to death....how can you rebel against the purifying ambience of amrita.
students sorry disciples live here without any complaints...becuase they ae given everyhing they needed ...
in amrita no one cries,except criminals.they deserve to cry.

My shooting star

Her grey invaded hair and thick framed glasses that covered

the feminine form of Guevara eyes  ,

The eyes I admired most and the gaze which radiated freedom

Her empathy for the warriors of forest made me her acquaintance

Words from her which had no holds to bar draw me into her

The fury in her that tremble the mighty made me fearless

The rebel but serene self of her lit hope among lives in dark,

The liberated soul had the whole of sky to fly free,

But I am still here struggling to break out of my cage.

Confession

It was yet another boring day in the campus.i was back in the hostel as there were no classes in the afternoon session.my frustrations always increased inside the four dull walls of our hostel room.time passed by, we guys went to have evening coffee from the mess hall.me and my close friend ,ajay,who is my 'comrade' for all the mischevious activities,went to the side of our hostel where the outside village of amrita campus is visible.while i sip down the coffe i looked at the non-amrita world through the grills.a student in amrita can got out only once in a month from the campus,that too clearing hectic formalities.while i was looking outside thrugh the steel grills,the free bird inside me was urging to flee out from our lifeless campus.without asking too much questions to myself,i asked ajay "i'm fed up sitting inside this hell,can we jump out and free ourselves??"
after a long stare through the grills,he gave me a positive wink,and that was the thumps up for the operation.
we observed the paddy fields outside the grill and watched the way farmers are moving ,to make out our path clear in minds.
the plan was fixed at 7'oclock at night,beause its the time when wardens and attenders go to mess hall.while we were gearing up for the operation so many thoughts passed through my mind.for students in ther colleges,jumping out of hostels may be walk in the park,but for an amritian its like prison break.if caught,a minimum of two week suspension is guarenteed with a good amount of fine.the other thing that came to my mind was that ,there is nothing we can do if we jump outside,as the campus is situated in a village area.there are only paddy fields and a small railway station.the only hang out near by is a 'dhaba' where we get non veg dishes and cigarettes which are taboos in amrita.so dhaba was the aim.
both of us got ready,some of our roommates warned us not to go.as it was our final decision they couldn't argue much and gave money to buy food and cigarettes from dhaba.
we folded our pants upto thigh height and wore dhotis to get a look of farmers.at around 7'o clock,we went near the grill and made sure no one is watching,then both of us climbed up and got out of the campus.just outside the giant grill,there is a hut of a farmer.so we have to move very carefully. there were no lights around,all we could see is the light from the hut.we slowly walked through the fields,we passed by wild bushes and trees in the darkness.that time,the only fear in our minds was snakes and scorpions which can show us the way to hell with one bite.the way was long,unlike we thought as the fields were large in area.as we moved on we heard the stray dogs barking and howling.the barks of dogs became closer.we threw some stones in the direction of the barks.nothing bad happened as we moved further to find the ettimadai railway station.we removed our dhotis and unfolded our pants before we crossed the railway station.after that the road was smooth with street lights on.but every time a vehicle passed by,we hid our selves in the road side bush fearing that it may be some one from the campus.after a five minute walk we reached dhaba and ordered eggrolls for roommates and for ourselves.the reason to buy egg rolls is that it is cheap and is a stomach filler.both of us lit a cigarette and enjoyed the freedom from our "prison" college.altough we smoke frequently inside hostel bathrooms,a smoke from outside is a huge relief as there is no need to be afraid of crooked wardens.we packed the egg rolls and started walking back to the college.we crossed the railway station and found the place were we left our dhotis.we wore it again and started walking back through the paddy fields.but this time the barks of dogs were louder and clearer.as we both reached the middle of a field the barks was so clear and we could see the sparkling eyes of stray dogs.this time we lost every grain of our guts and started to threw evrything that came in our hands.this worked and the dogs with drew to the darkness,but there were barks and howls all over the place.after crossing three big fields we reached near the back of our hostel.we could then see the lights in our hostel rooms .may be becuase of the noise made by the dogs, a man came out from the hut and switched on the flash light on us.
in a split second ajay seized my neck and made me lay on the bare ground.at that point we were virtually laying on that paddy field. i could smell the moist soil as we saw the flash light searching on the bushes near to us.we could hear our heart beats during those seconds.after few minutes lights went off and we called our roommates through mobile phones and made sure no one is near the grills.after we got the green signal from our friends we climbed back and got inside the campus.
every one was curious to hear about our venture. we shared the eggrolls and didn't really mind the small bruises caused by spines of bushes.the eggrolls were tastier that day,dont know why.
the very next morning ,while we were on the way to college we glanced throught the giant grills and looked each other with smile in our face.
the reason why i gave the title as 'confession' is becuse,as we were journalism sudents we were supposed to write a campus story.our ma'am will decide the topics we select.me and ajay was in one group,and we slected a topic on the students jumping out from the college illegally,like we did.our ma'am was afraid to proceed with that topic, so she said a big 'NO'.but i insisted a lot to take that topic,after all we are doing it,not her.she challenged us that if we have the spine to write down a confession letter about our jump out with signature,she could allow us to take up that story.think she doubted our genre ,any how i wrote the whole operation in black and white with siganture and gave it to her.but she still couldn't allow us to take up that story.....cowards die many time,but a valiant only once.

Spirituality,a business

Our country , india is intertwined with many religions,even more number of castes and sub castes which no other country may have.People in our country have a strong bond with their respective religions and they cant imagine lifes without gods,temples,prayers and traditions.iIthink its becuase of this attitude of people that rationalist parties like CPI,CPI(M )is confined to three states of twenty eight sates in the country.Only contries like pakistan,sri langa,nepal,bangladesh which constitute indian sub continent is having this strong religious sentimence,the reason for this is still not sure.




As a result of this intense religious mood prevailing in the country a more holier version called spirituality started to germinate.In this new edition its a person who self proclaims that he is the avatar of god or he'll show you the way to god.Most of these spiritual leaders or the "god-man" are propogaters of hindu religion than other religion becuase of this religion's majority in the country and its mythologocal background.One can notice that the recognition and growth of these "spiritual leaders" are phenomenal.As soon as they get well establisehd and the people got trust in them they slowly launch their business programes like muti speciality hospitals,schools,colleges in the name the these "spiritual saints" .If we look into these institutions one will go awestruck on seeing its plush infrastructure and faclities.People leave lavish praise on these organisations without thinking about the financial source of these institutionsand most of these institutions claim that they are getting financial backup from foreign institutions and foreigners also donations from native followers.In the educational institutionals they have a hidden agenda of promoting the views of the owners or our "spiritual leaders".


HOW PEOPLE GET ATTRACTED TO THESE FAKE SAINTS?


Its an universal truth that everybody in this earth is having some or the other problem.In this new and fast moving world people are having stress,tension,family problems and all kinds of difficulties.All these kind of problems accumulate togather and onje gets mentally weaker as tie progresses.The only way to relese all this stress is liberate youself or free yourself. The best way to do this is by telling your problems to someone and scream or cry or watever way one like to express.A person with more will power can sit alone and think where he went wrong and how to tackle his flaws.But in the present


quick paced world one really dont have the time or mentality or the environment to do this in practical.So people for a last resort come to visit these "god's men" and here they are recieved with a very holy ambience like someone in saffron outfit is singing songs or "bhajans" or watever they call't and lights and loads more.So most of the people will be mentaly relaxed by this atmosphere and in the second step they'll unveil all their diifficulties and problems to "god's men" gifting them with fruits and all ,like that offerings made in temples.After disclosing all their difficultie and bursting out with emotions one will feel they had attained ultimate salvation ,thats nirvana.But none of them is realising this freedom of mind can be acheived in a very lonely place hugging your pillow and unwrapping all difficulties and pronblems or telling all this to your most dearest person in life.Instead you go and offer friuts and all listen to those "bhajans" and unveil your mind whose completly unknown to you.Feel pitty on youself dear friends....


Be strong in heart and solve problems by yourself istead falling prey to those fake "saints"