I was not that close to her until the day she told all about her.late night we talked for long time,very long time.we couldn't see each others face becuase of the darkness around us,becuase of the darkness only ,i thnk she could tell every thing to me.she was from a very orthodox muslim family.but she was not the one who could be entangled inside the suffocative parametres of any religion .she was against the pardah culture which is a strong symbolic representation of the restrictions imposed on girls in their community.her father was a man with forward thoughts who supported her within his limits.but her mother,umma,was a woman who coudnt break out of the conventional mould of religion,same was the case of her two sisters.the biggest mistake in her life was that marriage which changed her life drastically.a girl with lot of energy and who can see the wide angles of life was married to a man infused with inferiority complex.his complexes sprouted mainly becuase of the fact that she was educated more than him.but his rage on her increased mainly due to her confident and forward character.she was also very free with every one, unlike other women in the community.his constricted mind did not understad her free flying heart.thus the problems arouse.he suspected her for having relations with her friends and relatives.he doubted her innocent friendship with her male friends.the bird was caged.even interactions with her parents was not allowed.but she was ready to bear all this and suppressed all her difficulties for the sake of her parents,especially her father.but she was tested again in life,some of her relatives cooked up stories of her connecting with her college mates.this 'made up' stories acted as a fuel for the umbraged mind of her 'husband'.she was abused in all possible ways,physically and mentally,virtually in imprisonment .but she decided not to bear anymore,and asked for a separation.but he was not yet done and accused that she is mentally disordered and bought her to a consultent,a physiatrist .the consultent asked her questions which,she said,no woman can answer.now,her father came to know about the situaion and the procedure for seperation was done legaly and religiously by saying 'thalak'.but after divorce also she was alienated in her home and society.the ultimate support of all human beings, mother, also couldn't see her.her siblings were of the fear that her failed marial life will be a curse for their future life also.confidence drained from her,a feeling of inertness was making her numb.but she coudnt resisit more,whch made her think about suicide.
she was sobbing in front of me by saying all this."this is the first time am opening my experiences to any one,i see a brother in you' she said.i too coudn't control the tears from ma eyes.a churning sensation in my heart after hearing the dark pages in her life.
our relation went very strong after that conversation.even my own sister said once"you love her more than me".i always asked her to think positive and never let the past ghosts frighten you.she went for a small job and started to move on.i saw her gaining in confidence ,mentally tougher due to her experiences.but the smile and energy that she shows in front of others ,crying inside amazed me.i always asked her to marry someone who can understand her,but she said she is not yet ready.once she said that a book named 'the alchemist' by polo coelho,inspired her to search for her destiny.i was not sure what does that mean till date.she was inert to the world which always wanted to dissolve her.
i was a very happy man when she said to me that she loves a man,a man who knowes all her past.she said it was a very much thought about decision.it was a divine love,not out of compassion or desire for flesh,but for true love,understanding each other.but she cudnt accept him all of a sudden,she had to keep in mind about her father,who supported during her days of pain and agony.the man she loved was a hindu,so it will not be a a person to person affair,the two gothic communities may clash.but i encouraged her to make her decision.to follow what her heart says,to discount the world around her.she did exactly that,the longing for passionated love cannot be detained.she wass married to that man legaly,it was a shock to her family.but for insanity shock treatment is a necessity.it was beggining of the end for the used path.she made her way to life.an unknown way to many people who are still blind and following the old path,the conventional path.for many she may be a traitor,sinner,but she was authentic,an authentic lady,an authentic human being.the courage and sel belief to be true to your self was the only reason which made her to follow her heart.she can be called as a rebel,who revolutionasied the old concepts,old ideologies,breaking the mould and bonds of man made religions and customes.the path may be difficult to travel,but for these people,they love difficult path.
recently i asked her 'did you find the destiny'.she replied that 'no,its a log way to go'.
the reason for writin this blog is becuase,i got a friend,quite accidently,who seems confused in her path.if you are confused,then you are in real life comrade,being true to your heart is the only way to destiny.love has greater meanings if you understand its divine,the most purified form of heart.RIDE THE CHANGE.
my cigrette was burning into ashes...my thoughts too.........a point of spark fall from the burning tobacco stick...the spark of fire which is left rarely in people....who fought for the rights of under privilaged and people living in the dark...the people who were always atthe recieving en of democratic system...the people who were stamped as naxals or maoists....who are considered as the biggest threat to nation.....pinned down by the authorities.....whose urge for freedom was over shadowed by debates and seminars in the capital driven media.....helpless and powerless movements....but always has the fire in them to break the shackles......
