Monday, May 31, 2010

the bullet getaway.

my new friend was more or less mad like me......talks n talks....we get close very easily
i told her once that i would like to roam around whole of India on a bullet.and i would live in naxal affected areas and redirect the present extremist movement and I'll walk towards death like a baby who doesn't know the fear of death...smiling. she said she would also come along with me....and we'll die togather."we'll leave exactly after 3years on a friday at 10 50pm".becuase it was on a friday 10 50pm we fall in a imaginary love.we'll cal our venture...the bullet getaway.
escapism is within all of us...but to escape with the person you love ...even in dreams ....feels heavenly.

"There comes a moment when my heart must stand alone
On this lonely path I've chosen
Like a house thats not a home

Sometimes when I feel I've had enough
And I feel like giving up
You willed me to be all I can be
Now nothing can stop me

I believe in the power that comes
From a world brought together as one
I believe together we'll fly
I believe in the power of you and I

This is the moment we have dreamed of all our lives
We'll be the change we wish from others
We'll stand tall for what is right
And in my heart there'll be no doubt
The arms of the world will come reaching out
And embrace me to be all I can be
Now nothing can stop me "...........olympic theme song

Sunday, May 23, 2010

a ROMANTIC note........

i haven't told her that i love her....
she alsonever did...
but we lived in love....ecstatic love....
she cares......hugs me...kiss me ....
cries when i cry.....supports me when the whole world curse me
yell at me when i go wrong......and then again she cries for my wrong and she supports
she couldn't stop loving me....and i couldn't too..
she never alowed anyone to talk bad about me......and i almost go insane when someone curse her.....
she reflects myself many a times.........the void of her absence is suffocating.....
we are in love... the most divine love on universe....
i always had one name to call her.....
i call her 'amaa'

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Do i have anything to say?

do you hav anythnig to say?....i heard that question as if the whole world is asking me.do i have anything to say?
volumes i must say. i cant face them or the world itself.staring at the floor is the only option i got,  where my eyes can escape.'hang him till death'.....judge judged.  my entire life i was guided to death.....walking between two big walls eyes covered with black cloth...without any feeling anything other than the hard bricks of the wall and seeing only the dark.....i was guided by someone to this destiny...this judgment.i never had a role to play in my life other than moving within those walls  with eyes shut .did i had any opportunity to tear of that cloth ,break the walls and feel the life in light.never did i..?born in a meager family in the outskirts of elite life i started ,moreover my motherland ,my nation was considered by the world as the breeding ground of terrorism.
education,was not even  in the wildest dreams of kids in my slum.without knowing what we are in this world for,why allah created us for,me and my friends spend our lives without worth.
i remember the day i was made belief of my worth,my duty .they instilled knowledge,interpretations of quran,the need of jihad.world must follow islam.and over all this their promise of giving huge amount of money which i couldn't seeing think in my whole life.suddenlt my complete view change......the life i was leading was futile...they are offering the real  part of it.in my void mind there ideas filled clearly, world must follow islam,words resonated.i must be loyal to allah
followere were many....mere followes .with each day passing i felt more and more inspired more and more worthy,more and more responsible.
i was assigned for the ultimate salvation..i was assigned to be the warrior of my beleif.inluding me nine were send for war.we were the most sacred warriores sacrificng ourselves to allah......the most respected ones.
we were unleashed here,by serving and pleasing all who guided us.....we killed and killed...people after people,life after life.india was paralyzed by 9 of us.eight of the other were killed.they served the purpose.i was the abandon by allah,by getting caught .
through my days behind bars,i started realization.the path to truth...i was realizing myself.it was a difficult to understand that i was a sinner.by remembering all those agony ,pain,blood fear in the peoples face i killed i felt terror for myself....i was the sinner.light slowly was dawning  in my thoughts.i felt this was the biggest knowledge not what they taught,and their interpretations about faith was mere misinterpretations,what they taught was darkness,the money was my price to be in the darkness forever,and we were not warriores of allah,we were biggest sinners in front of allah.but then i had no other choice....i was born in darkness and lived in darkness and their ideas was the first of any kind which endarkened me further.but now i know what is allah.
now hearing the judgement,my wyes blurred,.... tears which purify my soul.i do have manythings to say but i dont want.
AJMAL KASAB GETS DEATH PENALITY.Every headlines got bolder,every newschannels were louder.
world celebrates the news,i celebrates it more