അവള് പറഞ്ഞത് വീണ്ടും എന്റെ മനസ്സില് കൂടി കടന്നു പോയി .
"എവടെ വേണമെങ്കിലും ഞാന് ഇറങ്ങി വരം"
എന്റെ ഏകാന്ത ജീവിതത്തിലെ ആദ്യ വിജയമാന്നു അവള് .കുറച് അപ്പുറത്തുള്ള റെയില്വേ ട്രാക്കിലൂടെ അതി വേഗത്തില് ട്രെയിന് കടന്നു പോയത് അന്ന് ആദ്യമായി ഞാന് ശ്രദ്ധിച്ചു ,അതിന്റെ ശബ്ദം എന്നെ അസ്വസ്ഥമാക്കി .ഇന്നു ആദ്യമായാണ് എന്റെ ഈ മുറി എത്ര ചെരുതാനെന്ന്നു എനിക്ക് ബോധ്യമാകുന്നത് .നഗരത്തിന്റെ കോലാഹലങ്ങളുടെ അടുക്കളപുരത് എന്റെ മുറി .മാസ വാടക മുന്നൂറി അന്ബത് രൂപ ,മുറിയിലുള്ള ഏക വെളിച്ചം അന്പത് വാട്റ്റ് ബള്ബ്.മുറിയുടെ മൂലയില് ഉള്ള തടി കട്ടിലില് കീറിപറഞ്ഞ മെത്ത.മൂട്ടയും പാറ്റയും സുഖമായി എന്റെ കൂടെ ഇവടെ വിരഹിക്കുന്നു .അപ്പുര്രമുള്ള ഓടയില് നിന്നുള്ള ഗന്ധം വര്ഷങ്ങള്ക്കു ശേഷം വീണ്ടും ഇന്നു എന്നെ ഒക്കാനപെടുത്തി.
ജീവിതത്തില് ആദ്യമായാണ് ഞാന് എന്റെ പരിമിധികള് മനസിലാക്കുന്നത് .സത്യത്തില് എനിക്ക് പരിമിധികളെ ഒള്ളു ....ഒരു ഉണക്ക വക്കീല് തെണ്ടിയുടെ പരിമിധികള് ..മനസില്ലാക്കാന് വളരെ വൈകി .
ഒരു പാറ്റ പറന്നു വന്നു ചുമലില് ഇരുന്നു ...അവള്ക്കു പാറ്റയെ പേടിയായിരുന്നു .നെഞ്ചില് വല്ലാത്ത ഭാരം ..കണ്ണുകളില് നനവ് പടരുന്നു ...ബള്ബിന്റെ വെളിച്ചത്തില് ഈയാംപാറ്റകല് പാറി പറക്കുന്നു ...ചിലത് ചിറകു കൊഴിഞ്ഞു താഴെ വീഴുന്നു. അവള് എനിക്കൊരു ഭാരമാണ് .ഞാന് പോലും എനിക്കൊരു ഭാരമാവുകയാണ് . ട്രക്കിലൂടെയുള്ള അടുത്ത ട്രെയിന് പതിനൊന്നു മണിക്കാണ് .
അടുത്ത ദിവസത്തിലെ പത്രത്തിലെ ചെറിയ കോളം വായിച്ചു :അഞ്ജാത ജഡം കണ്ടുകിട്ടി
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
a broken dream (thought evolved after seeing inception)
we all dream while sleeping.dreams are unreal for us,sometimes it disturbs you,sometimes it comforts you.some dreams are incomplete,before the next picture we will wake and we stray behind that uncompleted phantom.we long for that dream to get completed ...but that never happens....the climax of that deception is lost in unreal world...we cant regain it.
now imagine we are dreaming,our life is a dream....everything around is a mere projection.relations,structures,emotions,disaster,achievement....evrything....that was all dream....we were all sleeping and is still sleeping.....we are not living....we are dreaming....we are living in dream......and we are trying to complete our dream..in our own way...but thats not possible........dreams are unreal...our world is unreal....
and it is death that wake us up...to reality...suddenlt when your heart beats drop to death...you get up as you where in a dream..just like we wake up from our dreams while we sleep at night....death wakes us up from the dream called life....then you understand....the life you thought you have conquered or lost was just a passing fantacy....death calls us to life...calls us to shed our dream....evry dream has to come to an end ...so as the dream like this unreal life....death is where the real life starts......
now imagine we are dreaming,our life is a dream....everything around is a mere projection.relations,structures,emotions,disaster,achievement....evrything....that was all dream....we were all sleeping and is still sleeping.....we are not living....we are dreaming....we are living in dream......and we are trying to complete our dream..in our own way...but thats not possible........dreams are unreal...our world is unreal....
and it is death that wake us up...to reality...suddenlt when your heart beats drop to death...you get up as you where in a dream..just like we wake up from our dreams while we sleep at night....death wakes us up from the dream called life....then you understand....the life you thought you have conquered or lost was just a passing fantacy....death calls us to life...calls us to shed our dream....evry dream has to come to an end ...so as the dream like this unreal life....death is where the real life starts......
Friday, December 17, 2010
amrita-peace is here
amrita......its not a college its a heaven.love is every where in this place situated in a peaceful outskirt which was once an elephant corridor....becuase of massive defoerestration for increasin facilities for students,villagers thank amrita that no animals disturb them nowadays.
amma is the soul and spirit of this college where they dont just educate but educate values.values which the new uncultured genration shuold hold on. freedom is valuable here,in amrita you are not just humans...but boy and girl...two different species..and make them understand 'our culture'....should not be forgotten.amma's favourate lord krishna may be a flirt and may had ten thousand wives...but amma forgive him....and making the new generation walk on the right path.god has the right to giva and take life,so no respect should be given to any death cases inside campus.
the MBA girl who jumpd to death due to unknown reasons have no right for any last respect.blood in the floor was swept to drainage by the cleaner.thats how it should be.how can she take the power of god??that too inside amrira ,temple of amma??
indian culture is held high in amrita....jeans and t shirt are taboo....but full sleeve shirt and formal pants are to b used....no its not being slave of colonialism...ts 'our culture'.
perfection is amrita.....so why should one question anything in amrita?pramod...the aposthal of indian culture not even allowed the song 'maule mere maule'....how can a watch dog of 'our culture' allow such a terrorism song in the peaceful atmosphere of amrita??
the criminals are to be dismissed....the criminals who write,raise voice or even question the spiritual i stress spiritual but non religous scheme of amrita should be expeled.indeed they should be hang to death....how can you rebel against the purifying ambience of amrita.
students sorry disciples live here without any complaints...becuase they ae given everyhing they needed ...
in amrita no one cries,except criminals.they deserve to cry.
amma is the soul and spirit of this college where they dont just educate but educate values.values which the new uncultured genration shuold hold on. freedom is valuable here,in amrita you are not just humans...but boy and girl...two different species..and make them understand 'our culture'....should not be forgotten.amma's favourate lord krishna may be a flirt and may had ten thousand wives...but amma forgive him....and making the new generation walk on the right path.god has the right to giva and take life,so no respect should be given to any death cases inside campus.
the MBA girl who jumpd to death due to unknown reasons have no right for any last respect.blood in the floor was swept to drainage by the cleaner.thats how it should be.how can she take the power of god??that too inside amrira ,temple of amma??
indian culture is held high in amrita....jeans and t shirt are taboo....but full sleeve shirt and formal pants are to b used....no its not being slave of colonialism...ts 'our culture'.
perfection is amrita.....so why should one question anything in amrita?pramod...the aposthal of indian culture not even allowed the song 'maule mere maule'....how can a watch dog of 'our culture' allow such a terrorism song in the peaceful atmosphere of amrita??
the criminals are to be dismissed....the criminals who write,raise voice or even question the spiritual i stress spiritual but non religous scheme of amrita should be expeled.indeed they should be hang to death....how can you rebel against the purifying ambience of amrita.
students sorry disciples live here without any complaints...becuase they ae given everyhing they needed ...
in amrita no one cries,except criminals.they deserve to cry.
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