reality checks!

many a times i feel  reality is a projection of sub conscious .what we see is a mere visualization of the universe within....our mind has everything in it ...every question has answer inside yourself.... the path of our material reality is just the first dimension of oblivion...and i strongly believe a soul will be blessed with all experiences and pass through every possible emotions,its extremities, every possible way of life and every possible feeling,until it finish the  circle of complete knowledge through experiences, the soul will not find the peace of mind it seeks for and  it sheds the outfits and find newones ,the membrane called our physical body that divide  the projected and partial reality from the subdued  but complete universe within.so i live and live and live to find that euphoria of being complete.
i poses a question !
why does an idiot called human considers a diamond so valuable that he even fight a war for it,even after knowing that it is an artificially beautified stone??why is it so precious?? what is the pride factor??
you find answers....
on a night while i was drowning in darkness...i was pondering why men always crave for the nudity of women...for their body...is it because they hide it with clothes all the time...is it that mystery under cover??or is it the aura of womanliness that a man is unknown of?? or because of all the social dogmas ,culturing and and expectations attached with women?? similarly for women...they seek for man...his most hidden and hyped about possession,the stick of creation,dick. no,pls you got time to laugh later
"i exist becuase,you imagine i do" i've read this words somewhere....and i feel the same....i am a concept for u...my physical presence is least relevant .....my reactions,the words i use, behavior, ideologies,and all other associations i am linked with makes me ,capsuled in a single world called by my name.....the wildest possible abstract which is accepted by every one.....
so every word in this world holds a concept...attached again with this  lot more of  beliefs, expectations,culture,dogmas,
the concept that twinkling or shining is a cosmic wonder or divine makes diamond precious...the adventure behind every diamond,the bloodshed behind it makes it even more vauable and demanding....it takes skillful people to cut that raw stone to a twinkling beauty makes it wanted.. and women ,all poets writers artists and common man haven't yet understood the concept of women completely....so we still look at her with the same enthusiasm  and watch the magnificent creation she is.....

OK I LOST SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY!! DID I?? OR CAN YOU JUST DECODE WHAT I MEAN???!!

night outs

krishna looked out from that window .....watching the city lights,mumbai huzzle and the sea winds...never will mumbai take rest...it always have the rapid heart beat of a rat in a trap....it has been long since she had walked into the swirling night life of mumbai....like the damsel in distress she locked her up from all turbulence of noises and the leisure of music....friends ,fun ,night clubs ,pubs.....all the stress busters a metro girl resort to,was abandoned....now to get a break was a strong decision...to rise above hatred gossiping bitching and backstabbing needed a rock mind...a mind to ignore and walk away from those chaos to a carelessly free world...
krishna put on her sexiest outfit to and drove down the city streets to merge with the colors of night...to shed a stinking phase of life in that night and erase everything atleast for that moment with high pounding trance booze and dance ....
the never ending waves of juhu beach takes away your pain and bring back long lost memories ...but kanak at that time felt the salty winds are rubbing on his bleeding thoughts....boys strolling in a beach lonely with a cigarette burning in his lips should be most probably a victim of relationship failure.....but kanak was not in that category ...he still couldn't believe the pictures he saw...and what his friend told just took him by surprise..krithika his only sister was seen dancing in the middle of some drunken guys in a pub...the pics were even more surprising ...he hadn't seen her wearing any thing other than a salwar..but here she is looking like a typical party girl...how will i tell this to dad...he will beat her up like anything...no...kanak at that moment missed his mom like anything....if she was there she could handle this situation perfectly...i have always heard that only a mother can understand her daughter completely...mom's demise always hurt kanak...the void she left suffocated his lonely moments...with a decision to make and questions knocking all over the head mixed with a burning temper, kanak,rode his way home..

the music was in booming heights and krishna was dancing insanely with it....her head bangs revealed her frustrations...with each tequila shot she was forgetting everything around....the blinking party lights trance and drinks made her world....but the tiring limbs din't let her enjoy the whole night....she sat in the corner of the dance floor to lit a cigerette....  bouncer had to take her out as she was unable to stand properly...outside the pub she sat again  to refresh herself...she had a feeling of purity within herself ....cleansing the past odds..a new spring of happiness and freedom was brimming in her ....her eyes wanted to say aloud "i am free and clean"...she decided not drive back to her apartment in this condition and opted to walk back relishing the long lost beauty of nights in her life...
a few steps past the pub...she saw some people staring at her...she walked forward as if she was not noticing them.....but the next step was obstructed by a huge man who was standing in front of her surrounded by other guys..."where are you going this late night??" he asked in marathi..."home"..she replied with a wavering voice...."are you drunk madam?" "yes,but who are you to ask all these" she asked back with all her energy left...the split second slap made her fell down..."what is your name bitch??" "krishna,you bastard...what the fuck you guys want?? "
with a hard kick on her stomach the man leading the mob roared "krishna eh??with our god's name, you are boozing and fucking all night insulting our culture..you filthy bitch" the men surrounding her started to tease and abuse her ...in her dizzy vision she saw mobile cameras flashing around....she felt some hands grabbing her...a chilling fear damaged her already down senses...
lost in his own thoughts kanak was struck by the scene of a mob attacking a girl.....he understood easily it was the frequently heard news of molesting girls in name of morality...he thought of riding past the backlash...but the face of his mom and sister flashed in his mind to stop the bike ...before committing himself he called the police to inform the situation...and walked towards the mob...kanak tried to stop them...the girl was actually tattered and looked like publicly raped...kanak also had to bare the heat of beating...but his resistance brought him time.....the police siren nearing to spot made him gasp a little.as the mob dispersed in hurry showing their final burst of agitation on kanak....
he gave krishna his denim jacket to hide her torn dress....she was crying...and her mascara made her tears look blackish...krishna hugged him tightly out of fear and thanked him in a shivering voice....police took her to the station to register the complaint....kanak was asked questions ...and was left soon...the bruises din't hurt kanak that night...he felt peace of mind like never before after his mom's death ..
kanak talked to krithika and her reply was simple "i was with rammy and kiran...and other colege mates...it  was ram's birthday...bhayya dont worry i am your same old little sister just that i wanted a day off too ..i know to take care of myself...trust me " she told in a soft confident voice
kanak smiled at her and gave her a hug
"i know you can ...but the world out there is real bad baby ...and we no more have mom to console us "
the siblings went to bed with a restored solitude to sleep after a long night.....