i don't regret....just that it is what i want most at that moment

long since I've written something for my own...something personal...not that you care....but it is a relief for every writer....

from the day i got expelled...from the night i was caught up in the rat trap ....nothing went right....i was set free.again i run into those traps like a dumb little rat....rajesh, sreedevi...and whoever more engaged....you all succeeded in your aim...from the day you wrote testimony against me...my life has been derailed.....and destroying itself in all possible ways.....and somewhere inside i am loving my downfall like a sadist....i'm laughing like a mad man at my own destruction....how much i am trying to erase those memories.....it wont go.....it just haunt me..and irritate me...give a reason to degrade to all possible ways.....i became a constant complaincbox,a sadist,self confined....

may be the new place i'm put in is more a reason to grow in disgust.... incomparably small space for me to grow...view..think...

nobody in this world can convince me that i am gonna make't...nobody.... i strongly believe its over.....by far...no consolation can kill my darkness.....maybe because i am loving it dark.... because there you don't want to prove anything to anyone....just confine to core...blindly

yes all of you are absolutely right....i am fucking zero....

why i am in love?or what is it??she is stubborn,precise,rock,sensible,no rubbish,practical.....now i am opposite to all this....at times i hate her...like hell...now hatred is the only form of emotion i am available of ........all i know is am need of the 'she-dope' badly

i made every one sad,cry with my deeds....made everyone hate me....it helps in more confinement...a jail created by myself for me........

yet i don't regret....my freedom to think,write,express is at scrutiny....but am not bound to anything now....seriously i don't care what a psychiatrist want me to do....this is not depression...just a withdrawal from dreaming good and not getting it...think of nice things and not getting it is painful...so destroy all goodness....and live in hatred......if anybody is still looking for my complete downfall...i am trying it by my own hard

the word i love most is "bliss"